Driving in Downtown

There are so many new experiences that I could share but having recently finished driving training, I thought I would share this one.  Driving training here is 7 days long. There is no classroom instruction and no final exam.  You spend 2 days in the passenger seat as the TC (tactical commander) and then 5 days as the driver.  You drive here with the MOVECON guys, or combat taxis, as I have heard them call themselves. It's these guys job to get people safely and efficienty around the greater Kabul area.  Sounds like a pretty nice gig, until you live it.

The nicest part of driving with these guys is their vehicles.  For my training, I got to ride around in a big, black Suburban.  All of the vehicles we drive off base are fully armored with bullet-proof windows.  These things are beasts and boy are they heavy but they are also very comfortable.  It would be a great ride..except for the windows that don't open, the IBA (individual body armor) and helmet you wear..and oh yeah; the loaded rifle and pistol sitting right next to you.

Leaving the base is kind of a freeing experience; outside the wire...new sights to see, new things to learn, music to listen to...the power of driving an armored SUV.  And as soon as you get outside the wire, you want to get back inside it.  Kabul is a bustling city like any other.  Except, this bustling city is still working on things like sewage systems, trash pickup and oh yeah; traffic rules.

I don't know what sadness hits you first; it may be the children picking through the trash dumps on the side of the street, maybe it's the smell of the place as you pass what used to be a flowing creek or river or the herd of goats and cows or maybe it's the falling apart homes and businesses along the sides of the streets.  The sights and sounds create a sort of sensory overload on a regular basis.  There is always a donkey or horse pulling a cart somewhere nearby, a man, woman or child pumping water from the town well, a kid waving at you or throwing a rock at your vehicle, a parent walking a child across the street and there's usually at least one civillian carrying an AK.  Seeing this town firsthand is a constant rotation between laughter at some cute, human moment, disbelief in some "you can't make this shit up" sort of way and fear that you are going to hit someone or be hit.

And then there's the actual foot and vehicle traffic.  I mention the foot traffic because there are people EVERYWHERE; they are along rural roads and highways alike.  There are men, women and children running about and darting in front of everything that moves.  The streets do not have cross-walks and I have seen only one working stoplight. In Italy, if you want to cross a busy street as a pedestrian, you have to commit.  Don't look at anyone, take a breath and just step off the curb.  Cars will stop if you don't make eye contact with the driver.  These people live off the same principal but they don't completely own it...so you end up moving one way to avoid hitting someone only to have them turn back into your path.  And then there's the kids...they are just everywhere and they really have no fear.  Where are there parents?  I personally would put an electric collar on my kids and set it to the edges of the sidewalk.  They try to step off and they get zapped.  It may sound cruel but given the alternative, I think it might just be a great parenting skill these people could pick up.

Next, we get to the cars. I don't even know where to start.  I continually remind myself that only a few years ago, most people didn't have the luxury of  owning a car.  I think I remember reading that Kabul's population of drivers has more than doubled since  Taliban rule ended.  I don't think these people actually learned how to drive their cars; I think if you have the money to purchase one that seems to be good enough for driving.  I really don't know if there's a speed limit in this country and it concerns me.  Most people don't go too terribly fast for the roads they are on until you consider the aforementioned pedestrians.  Oh, and I forgot to mention the bicycles. 

Bike riders here are worse than pedestrians; because those two wheels and metal frame makes them so much safer. These people like to cut into traffic, go against it on the F*IN HIGHWAY (an issue there..but another story for another time ... and definitely not in print) and generally pretend like they are invincible.  It freaking kills me.  I don't mind that there are so many bikes on the road but being on two wheels does not give you the right to act like an idiot. Oh wait, the guys with four wheels act just as retarded.

So, back to cars...Kabul's streets are filled with traffic circles. In MOVECON, I learned that when you enter a circle, you always enter at the six with the clock laid out in front of you. If you are taking a right, you exit at the 3, if you are taking a left, you exit at the 9.  Well, at some of the bigger circles, instead of entering at the six and going aroudn to the 9, it's apparently so much more fun to just take a left into the oncoming traffic.  WTF, man? W..T....F?  Who does that shit?  Even the Italians have more sense than that...and they drive however they want.  Talk about pucker factor...every time I have to encounter or maneuver through that, I want to curl up in a ball and cry for my mommy.  If I make it through, I typically feel like I should be awarded an Olympic medal or some such accolade of equal prestige. 

As each trip draws to a close, I realize the real freedom is getting back on base.  Yes, the perimeter may seem confining; yes, driving may remind me of being home and yes, I may enjoy listening to the radio but none of it bests the freedom of not worrying of who I will hit and when.  So, while it may be necessary and even nice to get out and about once in awhile, I will remember that walking on base is a freedom that comes with a lot less risk...and a lot less body armor.