Sand Squid: A Sailor's view of life in the NARMY: 11 Days

I'm picking back up after a 16-hour flight with a quick stop in Germany. We landed in Kuwait City at 0001, Monday, May 9th. Groggy and achy, we got off the plane and watched a team of our hard-working shipmates unload all 400+ of our bags. They boarded us on busses and we began our trip into the desert. An hour or so later (who really keeps track of time after such a long day?), we arrived at Camp Walkalot. Once there, we were met by some of our counterparts who briefed us on the basics of life in the camp. Here's what I remember:

    - It's hot in Kuwait so drink water.
   - Wear your glowbelt so you can be easily spotted under the cover of night.
   - Watch out for scorpions, desert foxes and mice.
   - No booze of any kind.

I'm sure there was some other important information we were supposed to remember but I don't. The above points are all that really stick out in my mind.

After our in-brief, we unloaded the truck, found our seabags and threw them in our tents. Yes, I said tents...this is life in the Narmy after all.  The tents were actually pretty nice; they were spacious, air-conditioned and offered real beds for sleep. Sadly, no sheets or pillows to sleep with. Good thing the Army issued each of us our very own, slightly used sleep system. There was also nowhere to store our weapons which meant they went everywhere we did from that moment on. Yaaay. (insert sarcastic voice here)

By the time our bag drag was complete, it was already light out and time for morning chow. So we set out walking for the DFAC. We walked through deep sand, past an abandoned tent city and then walked some more. By the time we reached the DFAC, I thought it might just be a mirage. Inside though, the food was worth the trek. Considering I had just spent the last 3 weeks eating some of the worst food the Army has to offer, I was in hog (or cow) heaven. They had cook-to-order omelets, Lucky Charms cereal, fresh fruits, hashbrowns, juice, soda, english muffins..you name it..they had it. Except for decent bacon.

    Sometime during the breakfast discussion, Stacie, Kat and I decided we needed to get on the correct time-zone. So after spending the last 36 hours or so in travel mode, we decided to stay awake as long as we could. We walked around and experienced all Camp Walkalot had to offer. It actually had very nice facilities. There was a USO with free internet and phones, an MWR with pool tables and couches, Starbucks, McD's, Taco Hell, Green Beans Coffee (love this place), spa and other fine establishments.

     It was like a mini-Army resort until someone turned the heat on. Our first morning started out cloudy and quite overcast. That didn't last long. When the clouds dissipated, we soon discovered that the sun is about 10' off the ground in Kuwait. It burns into the core of your flesh and cooks you fromt he inside I think. Sounds pretty bad, right? Oh wait...it's not over yet. Just when you think you're probably registering a nice medium-rare, the wind kicks in. I'm not talking about a nice seabreeze or a wind that rustles through the trees...(oh wait..there are no trees..as a matter of fact there is no green in this place at all..just dead bushes and sand)...I am talking about a 15000 watt hair dryer turned on full blast. The temps while in Kuwait were somewhere in the 110s and the wind is HOTTER THAN THE STILL AIR! This is when I realized I was located just south of the gates of hell.

     Of course, with the wind comes the sand/dust/filth. Since the showers are a short walk, staying clean is pretty impossible. Of course...given the 3-digit temps...staying clean really isn't possible anyways I guess. I know why Moses walked for 40 days..he wanted to get the hell out of Kuwait. (okay, okay..so he led the people out of Egypt..but I bet it's all pretty much the same)

     SInce Camp Walkalot didn't have indoor plumbing, that meant we got to enjoy all that port-a-potties have to offer in the middle of the desert. As an upgrade, we did have small modular structures that also housed toilets in them. These structures are kind of like portable executive washrooms; the blue-collar version. They had no air-conditioning and no electricity. If the smell didn't get to you, the heat certainly did. Entering these damn things was like moving from the frying pan into the fire; or maybe the oven is a better analogy. Oh..and they ran out of water daily so you couldn't flush the toilets. It just keeps getting better and better folks.

   At the end of our third vacation day at the Hotel Steps of Hell, we had our travel brief. We all gathered in a different tent and found out when our next leg of travel would begin. We had folks on their way to Qatar, Iraq and Afghanistan. Becuse of our size, they had to split us into multiple groups. As they discussed travel plans and informed us of our travel groups, they got to my group. We were Afghanistan 2...our flight plans..."?". That's what the slide said folks..."?". While everyone else got to leave Thursday, the 12th, we were optimistic that we might leave at some point in time on Friday the 13th.

     I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. While our time in Kuwait had required very little action on our part and virtually no actual work, I was stuck enduring heat that could cook a meal and I had already experienced all the Camp had to offer. I had experienced it all 5 times over. By Wednesday, I had refused to go to lunch because walking a mile one-way through the desert in a mostly abandoned camp was not an acticity I was willing to pursue.

      I thought I would go stir-crazy spending an extra day a Walkalot...but it turns out I hadn't yet begun to know the depths of boredom and frustration I would later experience. Stay tuned for the next chapter.

the bathroom experience...